


Why is Google Telling Me He’s a Vampire

by unclassified_senpai



Series: Google is the Key [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: A little crack-ish, Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Uni life, Vampires, lots of reference to healthy living, mentions of blackpink - Freeform, one tiny mention of kihyun from monsta x, only one though, the side story to why is google telling me im a vampire, xiuchen try to help, yixing is an unusual vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:39:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unclassified_senpai/pseuds/unclassified_senpai
Summary: Junmyeon is at the receiving end of a strange vampiric courtship and doesn't realize it.AKA Junmyeon is a stressed RA where Baekhyun and Sehun make his life difficult, Minseok and Jongdae are fearfully anxious, and Yixing appears out of nowhere with timely gifts and dimpled smiles.





	Why is Google Telling Me He’s a Vampire

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon is StressedTM and being an RA is tough enough already with students needlessly harassing him about their pipes, mildew, and stuck windows ( _take that to the maintenance people their number is literally pasted on every imaginable surface around dorm!!_ ). And sometimes he had to take on the role of counselor but that was all right, it was something he expected and honestly didn’t mind.

What he didn’t sign up for, however, was Baekhyun and Sehun.

These two combined, or single, were the biggest headaches of Junmyeon’s existence. A bit dramatic but nonetheless true. But he was happy that though he had Baekhyun and Sehun in his list of people he was responsible for as RA, he also had Minseok and Jongdae, to balance it out. These two were his favorites and he knows he’s not supposed to play favorites but he can’t help it. They were clean, weren’t noisy, didn’t bring faculty members angrily demanding them to change back their department websites from Pepe the Frog theme, and didn’t come back high or drunk, banging at his door asking him about the meaning of life ( _all things that have happened because of Baekhyun and Sehun)_.

So normally when either one of Jongdae or Minseok appeared at his door, it was either to say hi, or sometimes in Jongdae’s case, to ask for some help regarding a business theory he didn’t quite grasp. So when Jongdae is at his door, at a slightly late time, looking nervous and a little jumpy, Junmyeon can’t help but immediately worry.

‘What’s wrong Jongdae?’ he asks.

‘Oh- uh…nothing,’ Jongdae says, _something_ clearly being wrong.

‘Okay…how can I help you?’ Junmyeon asks slowly. Between the two, Minseok was calmer, more logical, and calmer to deal with, and he quickly looks around for the nursing student but he’s not there.

‘I just- you know, had a quick question,’ Jongdae says, still looking anywhere but at Junmyeon.

‘Did something happen? You can tell me,’ Junmyeon brings out his “ _advisor”_ tone, hoping to soothe Jongdae enough to let him tell him what was wrong. Was this related to Baekhyun and Sehun? Again?

‘I uh- _heard_ , something, and I wanted to know if it’s true?’

‘Jongdae- just ask me, what is it?’ Junmyeon sighs. He had a lot of work to hand in tomorrow and this was honestly just wasting his time.

‘IheardthatyouweredatingYixingwhichiscoolitsgreattoseeyoufinallymeetingsomeoneandallbutijustwantedtoknowifitwasactuallytrueornotandifyouknewabouthimindetailasinyouknowthepartwherehesnotexactlyhumanandstufflikethat.’

‘…what?’

Jongdae looks around jumpily, as though expecting someone to attack him from the shadows.

‘Are you high?’ Junmyeon asks carefully, wondering if he should call Minseok and tell him his boyfriend was being weird. Or better yet see if either Baekhyun or Sehun were responsible for this. Did they drug Jongdae? They definitely did.

‘No- I uh, are you dating Yixing?’ Jongdae manages to get out.

‘Am I _what_?’ Junmyeon repeats, wondering when and how Jongdae, his second favorite resident, was now starting to give off “I’m crazy” vibes.

‘Dating. Yixing.’ Jongdae asks bluntly.

‘No?!’ Junmyeon splutters out. ‘I’m a member of the Student Council and I’ve been asked to oversee the exchange students this semester! Who told you this?!’

Jongdae is not a good liar, and his eyes dart down the hallway and Junmyeon could _skin_ Baekhyun and Sehun.

‘Oh…but has he like, I don’t know, done anything weird to you?’ Jongdae is trying to obviously act nonchalant, leaning against his doorpost at an awkward angle, shoulders stiff, and fingers drumming alongside the woodwork of Jongdae’s door.

‘Jongdae. I have papers to write, and a very long and incredibly boring financial statement to complete by tonight. If you have nothing important to say to me or ask me, I really need to go.’ Junmyeon sighs out.

Jongdae looks like he’s struggling with himself before he relents and sighs out.

‘Okay hyung- you know you’re the best RA here right? And you’re like, really cool-ish?’

Junmyeon really doesn’t know if he should feel touched or offended.

‘Thank you?’

‘So- uh. Be careful.’ Jongdae leans in suddenly, looking at Junmyeon with such intensity that Junmyeon finds himself nodding in reply.

Jongdae sighs and leaves, shoulders a little slouched.

Closing the door, Junmyeon wonders what all of that was about. Maybe Jongdae was under stress? He heard that he’d been acting a little off some time ago, but he hadn’t noticed anything that strange. Plus, he thought it was just Jongdae coming to terms regarding his feelings towards Minseok. But they were now dating so he’s not sure where and why this weirdness was coming from.

Junmyeon faces his laptop screen for a while again though he’s not thinking about statistics or breakeven.

This semester, like the other semesters, saw a bunch of new exchange students come in. Depending on which faculty they were transferred to and if they were going to stay in dorm, the exchange students were the responsibilities of the RA.

Kris, Lu Han, and Kyungsoo were other fellow RAs and they were all responsible for 1 out of the 4 boy’s dorm. Surprisingly, Zhang Yixing had been transferred to his dorm instead of Lu Han’s, where all of the exchange students from China went. Either Lu Han or Kris, the latter of which was responsible for lazily drawling out in English, waving his long arms about as he gave the students from the “West” (as they put it) a weirdly historical tour.

Yixing was very sweet, asked proper and correct questions, and was a little odd, but Junmyeon had just disregarded it to personality quirks- and possibly cultural differences too. Ever since their second meeting during the first day of semester, he frequently gave Junmyeon small gifts- which wasn’t unusual because most exchange students did give their RA or guides thank-you gifts. Though with the case of Yixing he gave him a small gift every time he saw him.

It was as though he constantly carried little gift-wrapped presents with him and every time he saw Junmyeon, would press a small little box or bag into his hand. It was sweet and Junmyeon would be lying if he said it didn’t make him happy. Because honestly being an RA was a pain in the ass and it was nice to have someone show their appreciation over what they did.

There’s another knock on his door and Junmyeon is 2 seconds from yelling ‘GO AWAY JONGDAE NOT NOW’ but decides not to. Instead he stands up, calls upon every god he can think of for patience, and opens the door.

To his surprise and some fair amount of feeling a little creeped out (because Jongdae literally asked about him _5 minutes ago_ ), it’s Yixing.

‘Oh, Yixing, good evening, how can I help you?’ Junmyeon asks.

‘Hi!’ Yixing smiles down at him with a wave. ‘I was in the building and I wanted to stop for a moment and say hi and give this to you!’

Yixing holds up a small blue paper bag with a little silver ribbon tied around it. Yixing’s presents were always so prettily wrapped it makes Junmyeon smile even thinking about it. He’s collected a few of the small parcel like bags, liking their colour and also for repurposing them for future gifts.

‘That’s so kind of you,’ Junmyeon exclaims. ‘There’s really no need you know? But I appreciate it, thank you Yixing.’

Yixing smiles widely at that, dimples showing up.

Thing about Yixing was that he was unfairly handsome and the fact that he singled out Junmyeon and chose to give him gifts for no apparent reason other than Junmyeon being his guide and RA so regularly made him sort of a little flustered and pleased. That and the fact that Yixing always excused himself to come talk to him, even though it was just to say hi or to give him some short words of encouragement.

‘Do you want to come-‘

‘Yixing!’ Jongdae is suddenly there- how and when, Junmyeon doesn’t know. He’s apparently been doing some form of sports because he was definitely stronger and faster than before because Junmyeon is 101% sure Jongdae’s dorm room door is second last down the hallway, and he hadn’t even heard it open.

‘Ah! Jongdae how are y _ou-?’_ Yixing is dragged away from his doorway before Junmyeon can even blink.

‘I just- want to talk- byegoodnightJunmyeonhyunghahahaha-‘

Jongdae’s door slams shut and Junmyeon is 2 seconds away from checking up on them but his financial statement is calling him back. Sighing, Junmyeon walks back into his room and shuts the door.

He sits back down again, motivation to start the accounting sheet gone. Instead he opens the little bag Yixing had given him and finds it stuffed with dried fruits and nuts. It’s fragrant and nice, and it makes Junmyeon smile. Yixing always gave him thoughtful presents like energy-food and other brain-foods. Chewing on some of the cashews, Junmyeon goes back to his Excel sheet feeling better.

 

 

 

*

 

 

‘Right so this is the report from Dorm Three- we need to fix the lights outside,’ Junmyeon says as he hands over his envelope to Kyungsoo who was collecting their monthly reports on the dorm status. ‘How’s it going in One?’

‘Not bad- Chanyeol and Jongin haven’t broken anything this month, so I say we’re looking up,’ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

‘You say that like it’s a regular occurrence.’

Kyungsoo gives him a pained look.

‘You have Baekhyun and Sehun,’ he deadpans. ‘I have Chanyeol and Jongin.’

‘Well in that case,’ Junmyeon sighs before adding, ‘Do you think Kris has that at Two?’

‘Do I have what at Two?’

Junmyeon and Kyungsoo both jump at the voice.

‘Hey short-stuff, hey Kyungsoo.’ Kris grins down at them.

‘Why do you call him by his name-‘ Junmyeon breathes out more annoyed that he got spooked to the point of his heart racing rather than the slight at his height.

‘Because he knows what’s good for him- unlike Chanyeol and Jongin,’ Kyungsoo says darkly.

‘Ah- troublemakers,’ Kris grins as he takes a seat at the Student Council table. ‘I am free of them.’

‘Lucky you-‘

Yixing suddenly comes bursting in, eyes wide and fixed on Junmyeon. Who instantly turns red at the intensity of  his gaze.

‘Uh- is there anything you need help with?’ Junmyeon manages to ask, ignoring the way Kyungsoo watches closely, a smirk forming on his lips.

‘-no, I uh-‘ Yixing gapes a moment before waving and smiling at Kyungsoo and Kris, both of whom easily wave back.

‘I thought- I’d give you this.’ Yixing says, not stepping inside the room, and holding out…a _banana?_

Kris and Kyungsoo’s head swivel as they look at Junmyeon for a response.

‘Uh-‘ Junmyeon gets up, nearly upsetting all of the papers as his shirt drags on the edges of the table.

‘They’re really good for uh- your health!’ Yixing produces a small convenience bag of _bananas_ and Junmyeon takes it with some confusion. ‘Good for uh- for the um- brain. Because you, study a lot?’

‘Thanks?’

Yixing just beams at him and runs off down the hallway. Junmyeon pokes his head out a second later and finds the hall empty.

‘…I felt like there was something more to that?’ Kyungsoo mumbles.

‘…same…’ Kris replies.

 

 

*

 

 

Junmyeon feels sleep deprived as he scans the library racks for _Operation Management- an In-depth Analysis_. Why did he think this subject would be remotely interesting, he’s not sure. This area of the library was practically unused and the air-conditioning faulty so it kept making weird groaning noises, dripping at an alarming rate over on one side where a bucket was placed rather uselessly to catch the dripping. So much for peace and quiet.

But Junmyeon is determined because he doesn’t want to spend a shit-ton of money on other books he’s only going to ever use _once._ He was going to find this book!

And after that buy himself the biggest cup of coffee available.

He’s scanning the shelves carefully for about 5 minutes when he hears voices.

‘-it’s not like that, I’m just-‘

‘You’re not exactly a good liar- come on, you know _I_ won’t tell anyone- but if you do this you’ll get caught-‘

‘-but I couldn’t find a place-‘

‘-and also, I hear you’re still-‘

Junmyeon shoves himself forward, alarmed at the conversation and recognizing the voices.

Jongdae and Yixing’s head snap towards him, eyes wide and they’re both 0.1 seconds from screaming, Junmyeon can tell.

‘What’s going on here?’ Junmyeon uses his best strict voice.

He’s met with a confusing and loud and fast jumble of words. Junmyeon swears he hears Japanese and Mandarin thrown in there as well.

‘One at a time- and Yixing, you can’t eat inside libraries,’ Junmyeon points out at the bottle in Yixing’s hands.

Jongdae pales significantly though Junmyeon doesn’t understand why. Closer inspection shows that it’s not water, but rather a dark red liquid.

‘Oh is that the beetroot juice from last time?’ he asks smiling at Yixing who is oddly flushed. He’s blinking rapidly, eyes darting all around. Yixing had popped into his classroom before his lecture had started (how he knew Junmyeon was in there, he’s not sure- but apparently he saw him through the door?) and had given him a clear bottle of the deep red, almost purple juice. It was chilled to perfection and the colour was rich. It was odd at first, but somehow the beetroot juice was quite nice and refreshing. It also stained his lips a nice colour and made his tongue violently red for a few hours.

‘Can I have a sip-‘ Junmyeon’s caffeine-withdrawal body is yearning for any form of sustenance. Library rules be damned!

‘NO!’ Both Jongdae and Yixing yell at the same time.

‘-…okay?’ Junmyeon lowers his hand, wondering if he did something wrong.

‘I- uh, this is-‘

‘It has germs.’ Jongdae cuts in. ‘Yixing uh- got, the uh, Chinese flu.’

‘…the Chinese flu.’ Junmyeon repeats slowly. He looks over at Yixing who looks exceptionally healthy.

‘Yeap!’

‘It’s very contagious!’ Yixing adds, eyes darting everywhere as he quickly adds, ‘I don’t want you to catch it! I would never want that! At all!’

He was saying this to Jongdae instead who has gone from looking panicked to reprimanding.

‘Well…you two clearly have something to talk about…I’ll just. I’ll just go…’ Junmyeon says as he takes a step back. ‘And don’t raise your voices, this is a library where people come to study in quiet, okay?’

‘Yes!’

‘Of course!’

Junmyeon pauses, looking between Jongdae and Yixing, both still standing as though pained. Sighing he turns and leaves, feeling too old and tired to deal with all this drama.

He checks out his book (found it after asking one of the library-volunteers) and heads for the closest convenience store. He pulls out the biggest disposable cup and he’s about to reach for the ice when Yixing is standing in front of him out of nowhere, smiling brightly like they hadn’t seen each other in the library moments ago.

‘Oh-‘

‘I’m sorry about earlier,’ Yixing gushes out at once, his glasses lopsided. ‘I uh- it’s not like I wouldn’t want to share the, _juice_ with you- it’s just-‘

‘Yixing it’s all right,’ Junmyeon could laugh. ‘Really. But be careful next time, that area is a no-food zone.’

Yixing seems to blanche at this and Junmyeon wonders how many times Yixing has been there to eat. And also why was he eating at the library?

‘Is everything okay?’ Junmyeon asks, reaching for the ice-machine. ‘Why were you eating at the library? You can talk to me.’

Yixing looks like he’s on the verge of running away. Or exploding. One of the two. Instead he stays still and says, ‘The food hall smells bad- too many people. It’s a bit of sensory overload.’

‘Ah,’ Junmyeon nods in understanding. ‘That can happen sometimes.’

‘I uh…’ Yixing looks nervous and suddenly rather small, despite being taller than Junmyeon. He looks down at Junmyeon’s hand and then asks suddenly, ‘Were you about to drink coffee?’

‘Yes? Would you like some-‘

‘No! No, no- uh,’ Yixing struggles for a moment. ‘Coffee is not good for you.’

‘…um, well, I guess you could say I need it? It’s important if I’m going to survive this month,’ Junmyeon laughs.

Yixing looks torn before his expression turns incredibly sincere. He takes Junmyeon’s hand in his and with a serious and genuine tone says, ‘Junmyeon. I have the perfect thing for you.’

Junmyeon finds himself in Yixing’s dorm room 10 minutes later. Yixing had made him sit on the couch and then proceeded to make him _tea_. Not just any tea, _nettle tea_.

‘Are you…are you sure you’re not a medical student? Or…some sort of herbalist?’ Junmyeon asks after Yixing explains to him the benefits of nettle tea. Junmyeon ignores the fact that Yixing had just grabbed the hot kettle handle without a towel.

‘This is very healthy,’ Yixing says sincerely as he pushes a steaming cup towards him. ‘It will be good for you.’

Junmyeon is oddly touched and also a little discomfited.

‘This is very nice of you Yixing, I mean it- but uh, why are you doing this?’ Junmyeon asks. He was socially a little awkward, but there was a reason why he was chosen to be an RA.

Somehow, to his surprise, Yixing doesn’t fumble with words or look awkward or strange. Instead he smiles, and though nervous, replies: ‘I want to be your friend Junmyeon- I believe we will be the best of friends! The way Jongdae and Minseok are best friends!’

Yixing wasn’t the best example in terms of socializing by standard norms but fuck all of that. Yixing is so sincere and genuine and his eyes are sparkling and it’s doing funny things to his heart. Junmyeon wonders if he should tell Yixing that Minseok and Jongdae weren’t exactly _best-friends_ but he’ll save it for another time. So instead Junmyeon finds himself smiling- sappily, most probably. He accepts the cup and says, ‘Of course we’re friends Yixing. You don’t need to give me tea or other things to be friends with me.’

Yixing smiles brightly at that before his expression falls, ‘You didn’t like it?’

‘No! No I love them,’ Junmyeon replies before taking a sip. It was an odd flavour and honestly it would take time for him to get used to it. ‘But if you want to be friends, then there’s no need to do this.’

‘…but I can? If I want to?’

‘I mean, I can’t stop you I guess.’

Yixing looks relieved at that and also takes a sip of the tea, smiling at Junmyeon over the steaming cup.

 

 

*

 

 

‘I’m gonna have a party tomorrow- I expect you there Kim,’ Lu Han winks at him.

‘Which Kim?’ Minseok asks absent mindedly as he attempts to fork a wedge of apple. Jongdae obliges, taking the fork from his boyfriend’s hand and feeding it to Minseok. Jongin, who was slumped on the table exclaims sleepily and thickly, ‘It’s not _Kim_ – I’m _Kai_!’

‘Probably me,’ Junmyeon sighs, wondering again how every Kim he knew somehow just gathered in one spot.

‘You guess right,’ Lu Han beams. ‘I’m hosting another party this weekend. You weren’t there last time- I expect your ass there, you hear me? The other Kim’s too!’

‘It’s _Kai-_ ‘

‘I have a project-‘

‘Hyung has a project-‘

‘I have a paper-‘

‘Baekhyun and Sehun are going to be there and I don’t want to deal with them.’ Lu Han interrupts.

‘You’re inviting me over to _baby-sit_ Baekhyun and Sehun in your party?’ Junmyeon looks up unimpressed.

‘I only speak the truth- but we both know that you’re going to be called the moment they get drunk- probably 2 hours into the party, and it’ll take at least an additional 2 hours to get there, collect them, and go back.’ Lu Han lightly narrates in a sing-song voice.

And Junmyeon would roll his eyes. If Lu Han was exaggerating. He wasn’t. Unfortunately.

Junmyeon sighs heavily, ‘You’re right. Might as well give Soo and Kris a hand in rounding-up the drunks.’

‘Soo doesn’t need help,’ Jongin smiles happily from where he’s pillowed his head. It’d be cute if he didn’t have the remains of snot on his nose. A wintery chill had settled overnight and everyone had runny noses and sneezes could  be heard across the university. ‘Everyone just listens to him.’

‘Don’t project your crush on Kyungsoo onto others-‘ Lu Han begins.

‘-t’s not just me- Chanyeol too,’ Jongin coughs as though that was a viable reasoning.

‘Like I said, don’t project yours and Chanyeol’s weird poly-crush on Kyungsoo onto others-‘

‘I am not here for this,’ Minseok grumbles, looking up from his book with a tired look.

‘Easy for you to say – you’re happily married,’ Jongin mumbles into his arms.

Minseok and Jongdae don’t even refute this but instead get up from the table. Minseok ruffles Jongin’s hair fondly though, ‘Don’t dehydrate- seasonal flus are a pain but you’ll get over it in a few days.’ And the two wave goodbye to Junmyeon and Lu Han.

‘You better come,’ Lu Han presses as Jongin makes thick groaning sounds to the side. ‘Besides- the exchange students are all invited as well. So that means Yixing too.’

‘I already said I would,’ Junmyeon splutters. ‘Why do you think bringing in Yixing’s name would mean anything?’

‘Um,’ Lu Han pretends to pull a confused face, ‘Because you guys are into each other?’

Junmyeon actually laughs out loud, ‘Lu- I’m quite certain we are not into each other.’

‘From the way he’s running towards us like that suggests otherwise,’ Lu Han winks at someone behind Junmyeon.

Junmyeon whips around and for about 3 seconds he’s greeted by the sight of Yixing running towards him. He has a dimple-producing smile on his face, arms held out and Junmyeon finds himself nearly spreading his own arms out. Then suddenly Yixing stops in front of him, arms suddenly frozen before falling to his sides so quickly that Junmyeon almost gets whiplash.

‘Junmyeon!’ he smiles, ‘Good afternoon!’

‘Hi Yixing,’ Junmyeon looks up smiling back. ‘Headed to class?’

‘Yeah! I sm-saw you and wanted to say hi!’ Yixing explains. ‘It’s a nice day today! And that’s a really nice colour on you!’

Junmyeon looks down in surprise at the maroon sweater he’s wearing, a little surprised. ‘Thank you Yixing.’

‘Oh and here! The weather is a little weird lately so have this!’ he digs out a pretty envelope tied up with a length of gold ribbon and presses them into Junmyeon’s hands. Peering in, Junmyeon finds it stuffed with packets of vitamin C tablets- the kind children ate, shaped like stars and flowers.

Jongin sneezes violently, inhaling thickly. Yixing pays him no mind.

‘Oh- thank you! You remember what I told you though right?’ Junmyeon tries not to notice how Lu Han is practically falling over onto the table, watching his interaction with Yixing. Even Jongin looks up, snot and all.

‘Of course I do! But I said I wanted to! We’re going to be best-friends! And I want to show you that you mean a lot to me!’ Yixing explains, kneeling dramatically under the afternoon sun, taking Junmyeon’s hand in his with a sincere gaze.

‘Oh- uh-‘

Lu Han is making weird garbled sounds behind them and Jongin is… _on his phone_?!

Junmyeon never fails to notice how handsome Yixing is, but at this overwhelming distance, it’s difficult to ignore and like Minseok said not too long ago: ‘ _I am not here for this.’_

‘-of course Yixing,’ Junmyeon squeezes Yixing’s hands back, not sure what to say.

But it’s apparently enough for Yixing who nods and t _hen kisses Junmyeon’s hands_ and stands up. He doesn’t even acknowledge Lu Han or Jongin (who was filming the entire thing it would seem- probably for snapchat) and skips off. He’s halfway across the park, still skipping, when a flock of pigeons take flight and he _screams_. Yixing suddenly ducks, covering his head, still screaming, and with intense speed, rushes off into one of the buildings in a blur.

‘Yeah- you’re _definitely_ coming to the party.’

 

 

*

 

 

Junmyeon is _so done_ with Baekhyun and Sehun.

He can’t even begin to explain how done he is.

Lu Han was excessively rich, and so had a massive penthouse near the university. And this penthouse had a pool, greenhouse, and tennis court; none of which were used for those purposes. Lu Han looked a little air-headed but he was something of a stock-market genius. He placed his first investments when he was 13 and by the time he was 18 he was a multi-millionaire. He had incredible people skills as well, and was a natural people magnet. He knew everyone in university, and was friends with nearly everyone in the administrative staff as well as nearly every faculty.

But for some reason, his chosen degree of education was in _Astronomy_. So the greenhouse was transformed into an observatory of sorts, with expensive equipment that Junmyeon would have to sell all of his organs before being able to afford any of them. So that meant that Baekhyun and Sehun were definitely going to have to sell their own organs to pay for all the mess they made in this greenhouse.

Admittedly it was just vomit and for some reason, a bag full of table-tennis balls, that littered the floors- it was still a huge mess.

Junmyeon looks down at the two, who were attempting to string up the table-tennis balls with a massive needle and some silly string. Heaving a sigh, Junmyeon clears his throat.

‘Oh-‘ Baekhyun sounds startlingly sober. ‘Hyung. Welcome to my crib.’

Sehun burst out into high-pitched giggles and Junmyeon is afraid for him and the needle in his hands. Making his way gingerly to the two, avoiding the pools of sick and thankful that the windows were open to let the odour out. He addresses Baekhyun first- he seemed more put together than Sehun at any rate.

‘Baekhyun? Think you can stand?’ he asks kindly as he squats down to be eye-level.

‘Ain’t this place dope? Like-‘ Baekhyun starts waving his hands about in what Junmyeon guesses is supposed to be hip-hop or something. ‘- _your crib could fit in my crib_ -‘

Baekhyun groans while Sehun starts wailing, ‘Lisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- you’re so coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!’

Junmyeon was going to have to call for reinforcement.

‘Junmyeon?’

Praise the lor _d oh fuck-_

Yixing is standing by the door, hair slicked back, no glasses, in a satiny dark grey shirt and very fitted black _leather trousers what the actual fuck-_

‘Do you need help?’ he asks carefully, eyeing Baekhyun and Sehun with concern.

‘Do you mind? I think I should take them back now,’ Junmyeon gestures at the two. ‘I have to warn you- Sehun is quite cuddly when he’s like this.’

‘Not at all!’ Yixing beams, making his way in, weaving through the puddles of sick. He doesn’t even question the table-tennis balls. He easily picks up Sehun, as though he weighed nothing. Junmyeon struggles a little with Baekhyun, because drunk Baekhyun had the tendency to flop around. Yixing actually reaches over and with a single hand, adjusts Baekhyun up and he’s leaning against Junmyeon at an angle, making it easier for them to walk.

Yixing was a blessing.

Luckily they weren’t too far away, and the walk seems to quiet down the two drunks though it makes their steps slower. Yixing stops and actually scoops Sehun into his arms.

‘Hyung- you’re so cool,’ Sehun manages to say before passing out.

Yixing just smiles, not even breaking a sweat. Junmyeon already has problems breathing because he’s practically lugging Baekhyun at this point.

‘Should I take him as well?’ Yixing asks.

‘Uh I don’t think-‘ Junmyeon begins but then Yixing adjusts Sehun over one shoulder, and then picks Baekhyun up as well, and puts him over one shoulder.

‘-you can…okay…’

Yixing doesn’t even appear strained, he just smiles, patting the two who were passed out on his shoulders fondly.

‘We…’ Baekhyun groans.

Yixing stops, looking mildly concerned.

‘We’re _the only group to run this game on high-heels-‘_ and then promptly throws up again.

 

*

 

Yixing emerges from Junmyeon’s bathroom in Junmyeon’s t-shirt and trousers, hair no longer slicked back but damp and messy and it’s worse. Junmyeon tries not to think about what Lu Han had said the other day.

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to take care of it?’ Junmyeon asks as he hands Yixing a bag to keep his soiled clothes.

‘Yes I’m sure,’ Yixing says again. ‘If anything I can ask Baekhyun to repay me. Thank you for this by the way- it smells very nice!’ he gestures to Junmyeon’s t-shirt.

‘Of course not!’ Junmyeon holds up a hoodie as well. ‘Here- I don’t want you to catch a cold while you’re walking back.’

Yixing looks a little amused at that but doesn’t say anything. Instead he wears the hoodie and zips up neatly, even pulling the hood over his head. He looks unnecessarily cute and Junmyeon tries not to clutch at his chest dramatically.

_Fuck you Lu Han._

‘And thank you for inviting me into your house,’ Yixing adds, looking very _very_ genuine.

‘It’s well…not my _house_ ,’ Junmyeon laughs. ‘It’s bigger than the average dorm room but that’s only because I’m the RA.’

‘But I really mean it,’ Yixing says seriously before smiling and saying, ‘Well, I should get going. I don’t want to take up your sleeping time. It’s important to get good hours of sleep!’

Junmyeon wonders if Yixing is a bit of a health-freak.

‘Absolutely,’ Junmyeon agrees, walking towards the door. ‘And thank you again, for helping me out.’

‘Any time,’ Yixing smiles, ‘Just call me, and I’ll be right there!’

‘I really hope I won’t have to-…oh okay.’ Junmyeon stammers as Yixing hugs him close, making himself around the same size as Junmyeon.

‘Goodnight,’ he smiles, before he stands up straight at his normal height.

‘…goodnight.’

Junmyeon stands at his door for a while, unable to push away the feeling that he was really missing something important.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

‘Hyung- are you all right?’ Junmyeon asks a zombie-like Minseok who was shuffling down the hallway.

Minseok slowly turns, heavy dark bags under his eyes, skin pale, and messy hair. He had ink stains on his fingers. If Junmyeon wasn’t mistaken, today was the day the Nursing students took some form of mock-exam. Minseok looks like he hasn’t slept in a _year_.

‘I don’t know,’ is his hoarse reply.

‘Uh- Jongdae around?’ Junmyeon steps closer, worried that the elder might just keel over.

‘He has class,’ Minseok sniffs. He looks incredibly small and sad. Junmyeon instantly feels the need to pick him up and snuggle him in blankets despite the fact that Minseok was older and definitely stronger than Junmyeon.

‘All right hyung- let’s walk you back to your place yeah?’ Junmyeon says kindly. ‘You need to sleep.’

Minseok looks beyond tired.

They manage to get into Minseok and Jongdae’s shared room. Minseok more or less face-plants straight into the couch.

‘Hyung, I’ll be right back all right?’ Junmyeon helps Minseok toe his shoe off and puts it near the doorway before making his way out. Quickly making his way back to his own room, Junmyeon digs out a few bags of the nettle-tea Yixing had given him. It was refreshing and was soothing, and it made for a great pick-me-up without caffeine jitters. Thinking that was exactly what Minseok needed to elevate his exhausted state, Junmyeon returns to the other room to find Minseok sitting up, expression rather hollow.

‘Should I help you to your room?’ Junmyeon offers.

Minseok looks like he doesn’t know how he got there. Quickly heating up some water, Junmyeon takes over the little kettle with a cup and steeps the tea-bag in the cup.

‘What’s that?’ Minseok quirks a tired eyebrow. Junmyeon finishes draining the little bag and pushes the cup towards Minseok.

‘Oh it’s nettle tea, it’s very good and makes you feel better-‘

Minseok gasps out loud, gawking at the cup and then at Junmyeon. His eyes are wide awake and a bit mad.

‘Hyung are you-‘ Junmyeon wonders if Minseok was now suffering from some sort of panic attack.

‘Oh god- so Jongdae was right.’ He stammers out. That was not what Junmyeon was expecting.

‘Uh-‘

The door clicks open, swinging open slowly and quietly until Jongdae peaks his head in. His eyes widen and relief as well as worry floods his features. He quickly makes his way towards Minseok. Behind him, Yixing appears, also looking concerned.

‘Hyung! Why aren’t you sleeping yet?’ Jongdae scolds worriedly.

‘I just- uh,’ Minseok gapes at Yixing. His eyes dart back and forth between Yixing and Jongdae.

‘Hyung-?’

‘Junmyeon!’ Yixing smiles with a wave as he enters the room, holding his hand out as though to shake Junmyeon’s hand.

‘Oh hi Yixing, how was your day-?!’ Junmyeon takes his hand and instead of shaking his hand, Yixing raises his hand to his lips and kisses it. Junmyeon’s next words die in his throat. Yixing lets go of his hand carefully, and then faces Minseok who is gaping at the two of them past Jongdae’s worried back.

‘Here hyung,’ Yixing smiles at Minseok, giving him a bag of oranges. ‘Eat them after you nap!’

‘Thank you Xing-ah,’ Minseok manages after a moment. Yixing nods in reply and sits next to Junmyeon, further opening his bag.

Junmyeon wonders how and why the three were somehow so close. Had they always been close?

‘And Junmyeon! I think these will be good for you-‘ Yixing produces already peeled pomegranates inside a nice mason jar with a small spoon attached to the side. Junmyeon thinks it’ll make a very nice picture for Instagram. In fact, he’s thinking of taking a picture when he hears a strangled gasp from in front of him.

Jongdae and Minseok are gaping at the jar and at Yixing in horror. Then they both stare at Junmyeon and then at each other and then at Yixing. Then Yixing suddenly looks uncomfortable but before anyone can say anything, the door opens once more and Sehun stumbles inside.

‘…did I just interrupt some weird orgy?’

‘What?!’

‘I mean- I’m not judging- I’ll join too-‘

Junmyeon stands up, taking the jar from Yixing with a smile of thanks, before he pushes Sehun out of the door.

‘Hyung- please take a nap and take it easy,’ Junmyeon calls behind him with a smile. ‘You two make sure he rests all right?’

The door clicks shut. Then he rounds up Sehun with a glare.

‘First of all- _manners_ ,’ Junmyeon reprimands. ‘You _knock_ before going into someone’s room.’

Sehun nods sheepishly.

‘Second of all-‘

‘-was that about to become an orgy I’m sorry if I cockblocked you-‘

‘ _SEHUN!’_

 

 

*

 

 

Junmyeon hates their 8:30 AM Operation Management 3 hour-long lecture with a vengeance.

He’s happy to have Chanyeol to rant to- the latter who was twice as vocal about the entire thing. Zitao walks in front of them amused, because this was one subject he excelled at.

‘IT’S BULLSHIT I’M TELLING YOU- I DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT SOME OLD FART SAID 20 YEARS ABOUT BOTTLE-NECK IT DOESN’T APPLY NOW!’ Chanyeol groans, dramatically reaching for a wall and acting like he was melting against it.

Zitao turns, walking backwards, and Junmyeon already knows he’s about to explain to them the importance of the class they just took. So he does what every sane suffering student would do and he launches himself at the tall man.

Chanyeol is cackling because Junmyeon is so much shorter but he manages to get Zitao to bend backwards at an awkward angle. Zitao slaps Junmyeon’s back accompanied with frenzied screaming laughs.

‘Someone save me! Junmyeon-hyung’s gone crazy!’ Zitao shrieks with laughter as he stands straight and Junmyeon is momentarily hanging off of his back. But suddenly he’s being lifted off of Zitao’s back.

Trying not to flail, Junmyeon looks behind him to find a worried looking Yixing.

‘Oh! Gege,’ Zitao beams. Chanyeol butts in as well, grinning in greeting.

‘Are you all right?’ Yixing asks, placing Junmyeon down carefully like he weighed nothing.

‘Uh-‘

Yixing presses his hands on Junmyeon’s forehead as though checking his temperature. Then he cups Junmyeon’s face in his face, staring intently into his eyes. Junmyeon feels his face heating up rapidly.

‘Oh my god you’re go _ing to kiss-!_ ’ Zitao covers his eyes and promptly runs away.

‘Eh?’ Yixing looks a little surprised and that breaks his gaze. ‘Oh Chanyeol! How are you?’

‘Uh...’ Chanyeol looks at Junmyeon questioningly. ‘Just you know- uh, chilling.’

‘Cool!’ Yixing smiles and then turns his attention back towards Junmyeon.

Junmyeon feels himself colour even more and he takes a step back, a little (very) overwhelmed by all of this.

‘How do you know Junmyeon-hyung?’ Chanyeol asks, clearing his throat because Junmyeon realizes that Yixing has been staring at him with a smile for at least a whole minute now.

‘Junmyeon is my best friend!’ he declares, and then makes a small sound as though he remembered something. ‘Here, I saw this at the bakery and thought you’d like it!’

And before Junmyeon realizes it, Yixing is pressing a small box of banana-cakes into his hands.

‘Oh- thank you-?’

‘Wow- we should be best-friends too Yixing-hyung, I love banana-cake,’ Chanyeol exclaims delightedly.

‘But- we can’t be best-friends,’ Yixing suddenly blurts out, looking horrified.

Chanyeol looks puzzled for a fraction of a second before Junmyeon, with reflexes he didn’t know he possessed, grabs Chanyeol and urgently whispers, ‘ _Cultural differences just take it’_ and stands up straight again.

‘We can be good friends!’ Chanyeol corrects himself, still smiling brilliantly though he does look confused.

‘Yes! I would love that!’

 

 

*

 

 

Junmyeon likes to leave the best thing for last. In terms of food, songs, movies- he’ll end the meal with his favorite bite of meat, or he’ll end a playlist with his favorite song. But when it’s time to perform monthly check ups on the dorm rooms, Junmyeon leaves Baekhyun and Sehun’s rooms for the last. Not because he enjoyed it. But because he needed time to recover both mentally and sometimes physically.

He steels himself to face the doors of hell and he knocks thrice.

13 seconds later Baekhyun’s harassed face pops up.

‘Oh- haha, hi Junmyeon-hyung,’ he gapes, face sweaty and somewhat breathless.

_God give me strength._

‘I’m here for the monthly check-up-‘

‘ABOUT THAT!’ Baekhyun pushes Junmyeon out, closing the door behind him. ‘I uh- I might have drunk too much and I you know, haha, threw up around the place- so like uh-‘

Baekhyun doesn’t smell like alcohol. He doesn’t even look hung-over. And Junmyeon is unfortunately very well versed in Baekhyun’s appearances when drunk.

‘Baekhyun.’

‘Hyung.’

‘Move aside.’

‘Hyung I can’t let you do that.’

Junmyeon crosses his arms.

‘Either you let me in and evaluate, or the university sends the coordinator and then you’re in real trouble because I know you have alcohol in your fridge but they don’t,’ Junmyeon states evenly.

With a defeated look Baekhyun opens the door. He gives Junmyeon a pleading look one last time before he holds the door open.

Junmyeon walks in, expecting to come across the usual mess, beer cans, hastily hidden blunts, and condoms (used and unused), with piles of unwashed dishes and fermenting take-out dishes on the counters. But no.

Because Baekhyun and Sehun have outdone themselves. The dorm is surprisingly clean, and for the first time since he’s known the two troublemakers, the carpet on the floor is actually visible.

‘Please don’t scream or you’ll scare her.’

Junmyeon’s mouth shuts close. He wasn’t even planning on screaming. He was frozen in place.

There was an honest to goodness _albino python_ curled up on the couch, while Sehun lazily petted her head.

Junmyeon can’t help the shivers running down his back and he wants to move away but he’s frozen.

‘So uh-‘

‘How did you get that in here? And from where?’ Junmyeon asks, surprised that his voice wasn’t shaky.

‘Uh-‘

‘Hyung,’ Sehun looks over, expression serious. ‘Albino snakes are caught and held captive for the sake of money and mockery by cruel and vile people. They take them from their natural habitat and drug them, just to showcase them to a leery public for no other benefit than for money. How can you expect me, an animal lover, to stand by as they held this poor magnificent creature captive?’

‘I-‘

‘What’s wrong.’

Baekhyun, honest to goodness, screams out loud.

Junmyeon is sort of used to Yixing popping in out of nowhere. He’s not used to Yixing’s arms around him, pulling him close though. And he’s also not used to 8 feet long albino pythons suddenly wriggling about, rearing their head to glare at him.

‘What-?’

‘Oh wow-‘ Yixing breathes out.

And with Junmyeon still held in Yixing’s arms, he moves forward to the python.

‘Hi there beautiful lady,’ he says with a gentle voice, one hand stretching out, ‘What are you doing in here?’

Junmyeon wasn’t sweating before. He is now.

Never has the phrase ‘ _caught between the devil and the deep blue sea’_ applied so well in Junmyeon’s life like it does now. The snake coils around Yixing’s hand in what Junmyeon doesn’t think is strictly _snake_ behavior but he’s far from being an expert.

‘Ah! She likes you!’ Sehun points out unnecessarily.

‘She’s beautiful!’ Yixing beams from behind Junmyeon. ‘Where did you find her? I thought pets were not allowed in the dorm?’

‘They’re not,’ Junmyeon says faintly. In fact, he feels like he’s going to faint. The room is spinning.

‘Uh-‘ Baekhyun tries.

‘I haven’t seen such a magnificent creature in so long! What a beauty! You deserve to be painted!’ Yixing exclaims, arm still hooking around Junmyeon snuggly. And Junmyeon really is starting to faint.

‘Um Yixing-‘ Baekhyun tries again.

‘I am glad you see them for their beauty,’ Sehun replies with a sincere nod. ‘I’ve always wanted a pet and I guess a snake is a good start.’

‘Snakes are actually not so bad for pets-‘

‘Yixing!’

Yixing looks around at Baekhyun in surprise.

‘Junmyeon’s fainted.’

 

*

 

Junmyeon doesn’t know what happens after that. But when he comes back around, Yixing is leaning over him worriedly.

‘What happened to the snake?’ is the first question Junmyeon asks for some reason. Yixing smiles, reaching over to brush through Junmyeon’s hair.

‘She’s all right. She’s safe and happy.’

Junmyeon has vivid imaginations of the albino snake now free in the woods not too far from the university grounds and shudders internally. Junmyeon figures he really doesn’t want to know.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

‘Hey- can I talk to you for a sec?’

Minseok is outside his door, looking worried and a little nervous.

This feels a little like déjà vu, but Junmyeon nods nonetheless.

‘Hi hyung- is everything all right?’

‘I just wanted to know if you were doing all right- heard about the uh...well, _pet_ incident,’ Minseok grimaces.

‘Oh yeah,’ Junmyeon sighs.

Junmyeon decides that maybe he should really reconsider who his favorite residents were and to maybe drop in with the Nursing Faculty and ask them to maybe take it easy on their students. As part of the Student Council, he could drop a suggestion right? Because he respects and admires Minseok and doesn’t want to see the elder like this. But then again, it’s 1 AM in the morning, and any inquiries about his health could definitely be delayed until at least breakfast time.

‘So I uh- heard that Yixing was there to handle it?’ Minseok presses.

‘…I guess? I think he’s had a pet snake before?’ Junmyeon tries not to yawn.

‘…right- well,’ Minseok mumbles a bit, taking a step back. Junmyeon could almost cheer in relief. But then Minseok takes a step closer and holds out a small piece of paper. Junmyeon is a little slow on the uptake, but then again he’d just been woken up after a pretty traumatizing day.

‘Uh-‘

‘Just- just something I think you should look at,’ Minseok says evasively, waving the paper a little.

Junmyeon takes it and the moment it leaves Minseok’s hands, he sprints off.

‘Goodnight?’ Junmyeon pokes his head out to watch Minseok make haste and go back to his shared room. Sighing, Junmyeon closes his door and goes back to his _beloved bed I’m sorry I left you_ and falls back in.

He’s about to fall back to sleep when he realizes the paper is still in his hand. Grumbling a little, he wiggles about to place it on his nightstand. But despite his sleepiness, Junmyeon eyes the paper via his phone’s screen light. There’s 2 small scrawled URLs on the paper. Junmyeon has to blink a little before he can focus on the writing. Feeling too tired to think about it, Junmyeon puts it on the nightstand and turns over.

But he can’t sleep.

Now it’s bugging him and with a frustrated groan he picks up his phone again and then the little paper.

Squinting and fighting the urge to wear his glasses, Junmyeon types in the first URL.

_Foods to eat to improve your blood and simple activities and preventive methods to make sure you remain healthy!_

  1. _Iron-packed foods- bananas, nuts, dried fruits._
  2. _Vitamin C_
  3. _Beetroot Juice_
  4. _Apple and Pomegranate_
  5. _Nettle Tea_
  6. _Don’t drink coffee!_



Junmyeon was really going to have to talk to the Nursing Department at this rate. Was Minseok coping with stress by diagnosing other people? And why was it all related to blood? Sighing and wondering if it had all been just for nothing, Junmyeon types in the second URL without much thought.

_Vampires: Myth or Not?_

Junmyeon is now _very_ worried over Minseok’s health. But despite that Junmyeon finds himself reading this Tumblr post about vampires existing not just in legend but in today’s society as normal people. Because why not.

_How to Tell if a Friend or Relative or Coworker is a Vampire!_

And listed below are pretty basic things, if you were asking Junmyeon. However, other than the whole ‘ _can’t enter without permission’_ and ‘ _beyond average athletic ability’_ , something catches his eye.

_Vampire courtship and etiquette._

Seeing as he was already halfway through the blog-post and now wide awake, Junmyeon scrolls down.

_If a Vampire chooses you as their potential lover, their behavior, while similar to the act of friendship (see above on Vampire Friendship/Bros), is more direct and can often feel as though they’re fattening you up for a feast._

Junmyeon pauses at that.

_While this is not the case (don’t worry! Modern day vampires do not drink from living humans anymore and many prefer blood bags as it’s more convenient and hygienic!), Vampires are only expressing their worry over their S.O. As vampires are immortal to an extent, they fear and worry for their lover’s health. So if a Vampire offers you food or drink or even medication, it is not because they’re fattening you up, they just want you to be healthy! Think of them as your supernatural nutritionist._

Something was starting to feel off.

_The Vampire lover is quite old-fashioned and though they dress, speak, and behave just like us regular humans, they have habits ingrained in them that are difficult to shake off. For example, if they are courting you, they will readily employ themselves as your protector. Coming to you to help you in every little thing, despite how trivial the matter might be. They are also keenly aware of your heartbeat and scent (not as creepy as it sounds trust me!), and have a radar for you. So if you find that your vampire lover might be a bit too much, rushing in out of nowhere to protect you (when in fact you were just watching the movie trailer for IT and you got a jump-scare), you can tell them frankly and they will listen to you!_

Junmyeon finds himself sitting up.

 _They are also incredibly courteous and very wary of their own reputation. They might come off prudish or reserved, and sometimes might need some encouragement to make a move (wink wink). If not, you can choose to make a move yourself (wink wink wink)! Contrary to popular belief, Vampires are not horny blood-crazed creatures but are incredibly well-mannered, well-spoken, and sometimes may come off a little odd due to this. Do not be surprised if they give you gifts- it is a sign that they appreciate and care for you! Accepting them, of course, means you allow this form of courtship_.

Junmyeon’s eyes somehow find a very recent gift on his nightstand and he gulps. He can feel sweat forming on his forehead.

_In short, Vampire lovers are wonderful and are no different from any other human being. Sure they might sometimes talk as though they were present in World War I (they probably were) or might drop some random information about how they travelled with pirates in the 17 th Century (they did), or even give you a detailed description of the most mundane historical fact (because they were actively present at the time), they are every bit human as the rest of us. _

_If you don’t want to be courted or are not interested in your potential Vampire lover, then do not be afraid of speaking your mind. Vampires are very **very** aware of the stigma held against them. So do not brandish a cross at them (that doesn’t work) or try to poison them with garlic (that doesn’t work either, they love garlic). Like every other human being, communication is key! If you want to-_

Junmyeon nearly screams when he’s interrupted by an urgent knocking on his door. He fights the urge to hide under his bed.

‘It can’t be Yixing- it can’t- this is probably just Jongdae-‘ Junmyeon pauses.

Minseok and Jongdae had been behaving oddly. In relation with Yixing. And they were somehow all close. But there was something missing in all of this-

‘Junmyeonnie?’

Junmyeon instinctively hitches his blanket up. That was definitely Yixing.

‘Don’t be an idiot!’ he thinks to himself. ‘Vampires are not a thing and Yixing is definitely not one! Now go and be the good RA that you’re supposed to be!’

His legs don’t collapse on him and as he makes his way to the door, Junmyeon vaguely thinks that if this were a horror movie, the audience would be groaning at him for his stupidity.

Yixing is standing outside, wearing loose pajama pants and a ratty sleeveless shirt on top. He’d clearly been sleeping ( _did Vampires sleep? Tumblr had said nothing!)_ and his dark hair a mess. He quickly looks Junmyeon up and down (who was suddenly very aware of his state of pajamas) as though to check if he was all right ( _he’s not wearing his glasses- and did vampires even need glasses?!)_.

‘Are you okay-‘

‘Are you a vampire.’

Junmyeon wants to bash his head into the doorpost the moment the words leave his mouth.

Yixing goes completely still, frozen on spot.

‘Uh-‘

‘Are you a vampire?’

Junmyeon wonders when he lost conscious control over his voice.

‘Yes?’

It’s a whole 15 seconds before Junmyeon mumbles, ‘Right.’

Then he slams the door shut and very quietly screams into his hands.

Everything he read on that Tumblr page was true- and how on earth did Jongdae and Minseok know? Were _they_ vampires too?! Oh god- in the library, had he interrupted their _meal time oh god-_

‘Junmyeon? Can- can you open the door? Can I explain? Please?’ Yixing’s voice is a little wobbly and very quiet. It makes Junmyeon feel like he’s stepped on a puppy’s paw.

‘You don’t have to invite me in- I just- can I explain? I will answer all of your questions- just…just please. Can I talk-‘

Junmyeon opens the door swiftly and is shocked to find Yixing squatting down, the personification of miserable. He wants to comfort the other but Junmyeon holds strong.

‘Were you trying to like- suck my blood,’ Junmyeon asks, trying his best not to let his voice shake.

‘No! No! Not at all!’ Yixing replies at once. ‘I don’t want to _actively_ suck your blood!’

‘So you’d be tempted to? Is that why you keep giving me food for my blood?’ Junmyeon blurts out, aware that his voice is louder than it should be at this time of night.

‘You just- I can _smell_ that you’re hemoglobin count is low so I-‘ Yixing stands as he gets more desperate.

‘Oh my god you were fattening me up –‘ Junmyeon’s head spins- he remembers distinctly what he read- but how much information could you trust from a _Tumblr-post._

‘No oh god- no it’s not that- Junmyeonnie please-‘

‘Oh god that time you were _drinking actual blood-_ is Jongdae a vampire too-‘

‘No he isn’t! Absolutely not! I might have bitten him by mistake-‘

Junmyeon steps back, and Yixing is even more upset.

‘We don’t- we don’t _bite_ people anymore – it’s not a thing anymore- it hasn’t been for like, a century, and it’s just-‘ Yixing is stammering. ‘That night I got drunk- I don’t know what Lu Han had in his drinks but I lost control- and it was stupid- and I think Jongdae got drugged and I wanted to take it out of his system- but I stopped myself. I didn’t _puncture_ his skin or anything- but he kinda got effected but he’s fine- he’s totally fine-‘

‘Junmyeon-hyung!’ a voice suddenly calls from down the hallway. It’s one of the other dorm residents, Kihyun, and he looks rightfully irritated. ‘Can you please take this inside?!’

‘I’m so sorry of course-‘

Yixing disappears, suddenly crouched down on the floor.

‘…is he all right?’ Kihyun asks carefully, one sleepy eyebrow raised.

‘Oh- yeah- I’ll take care of this- just, I’m sorry- please go back to sleep.’ Junmyeon smiles at Kihyun as best as he could. His neighbour nods and disappears into his doorway.

‘Oh Yixing-‘ Junmyeon crouches down as well. He wants to pat the other but he hesitates. So instead he holds his hand out and says, ‘You should come in.’

Yixing looks up startled.

‘I-‘

‘You’ve never hurt me, or given reason or indication that you would- I trust you, it’s just…a lot. To handle,’ Junmyeon adds lamely. ‘So- uh, come in. I’d rather not have this conversation outside in the hallway at 3 in the  morning.’

Yixing nods quickly and taking Junmyeon’s proffered hand in both of his, and follows him inside. There’s something very dramatic and ominous about the way the door clicks shut. But there’s nothing ominous (dramatic yes) about the way Yixing scurries off to the couch, pulling his legs up and looking very much like a child waiting to be chastised. 

Junmyeon isn’t even sure what to do anymore. Yixing was inside now yes, but what now?

‘…did you like…’ Junmyeon begins slowly. Yixing looks up, eyes wide and a little watery. ‘-did you hear my heartbeat or something and you rushed here?’

Yixing nods slowly. ‘I was just afraid you were…I don’t know- being attacked or something.’

Junmyeon can’t help the smile on his face.

‘You could have texted? Or called?’ Junmyeon offers.

Yixing looks embarrassed.

‘I was just- just really worried,’ he says in a small voice.

Junmyeon sits on the couch as well, on the other side.

‘So…so you’re _courting_ me?’ Junmyeon asks carefully.

Yixing nods slowly.

‘…I mean, it’s…different,’ Junmyeon mumbles. ‘But uh- why?’

Yixing looks up confused.

‘What do you mean why?’

‘Why are you courting _me_?’ Junmyeon specifies.

Yixing is even more confused.

‘Why wouldn’t I court you? You’re so wonderful!’

Junmyeon feels blood rushing to his face.

‘You’re so kind and well mannered!’ Yixing explains. ‘And you have such a wonderful friendly personality- and you’re so patient, even with me even though I forget a lot of things. You’re always so helpful and your actions are so sincere!’

‘I uh-‘

‘And you do this indiscriminately! And you have another super serious dedicated side to you- which is so cool! And attractive!’ Yixing adds, a sparkle in his eyes. ‘You have such a genuine soul! I have never met anyone like you in all of my 412 years and I am so honoured to have met you-‘

‘Four- four hundred and-‘ Junmyeon feels himself paling.

‘And you smell really nice- like super nice- even better now that your hemoglobin count has gone up- _and that wasn’t to drink your blood I meant-_ ‘ Yixing flails before he blurts out, ‘I was _courting_ you!’

‘-courting as in-‘ Junmyeon wants to understand fully. Hear the words from the Vampire in question and not theories floating around Tumblr.

‘I like you! And I was- I wanted to show you that I liked you, that I wanted to uh- be your best-friend or-‘

‘Best-friend doesn’t mean _lovers_ \- it’s- it’s _friendship_.’

‘…but it means _best_ so that’s surely better-?’

‘It’s boyfriend- or, just, lover, I don’t know these terms anymore,’ Junmyeon facepalms for a moment, ignoring his lack of information regarding new slang words or terms. Wasn’t _bae_ trending for a while?

‘So uh-‘

‘Why didn’t you ask?’

Yixing is a little dazed.

‘Ask…?’

‘Yes?’

‘Ask what?’

‘You could have asked me if I wanted to go on a date with you.’

‘…is a date…modern-day courting?’

‘…how old are you?’

‘Uh…quite…old? But I’ve been sleeping for a while?’ Yixing looks like he could faint any moment.

‘…okay you know what,’ Junmyeon sighs, palming his face for a moment. ‘Let me take you on a date.’

‘You want to court me?’ Yixing looks like he’s trying to fight his excitement and joy.

‘It’s not called-…yeah, I want to court you too.’ Junmyeon smiles.

Yixing, _honest to god,_ claps his hands excitedly, smile wide and bright, his eyes suddenly flaring red.

‘Jesus okay that was a little-‘ Junmyeon jumps when Yixing reaches over the couch and hugs him tight, his face pressed to his neck and Junmyeon fights hard not to scream.

‘Uh-‘

‘I’m not going to bite you,’ Yixing mumbles against his neck. ‘I just want to hug you and your neck is warm.’

‘Okay,’ Junmyeon wheezes out even though he’s smiling with delight.

‘You also smell nice,’ Yixing pulls back, expression fond but eyes still very red.

‘I think that’s gonna take a while to get used to,’ Junmyeon remarks, reaching up to pat Yixing’s cheek.

‘Did my eyes go red?’ Yixing suddenly looks upset.

‘Um yeah-‘

‘I’m so sorry-!‘ Yixing makes to move back.

‘No it’s actually really pretty-‘ Junmyeon follows after him, trying to show he wasn’t… _afraid_ \- well he was but it didn’t matter. Yixing actually blushes and for someone who looked like he could be a sex-god at times, he was possibly a bit too adorable for his own good and Junmyeon’s heart hurts.

‘If we’re uh- _courting_ ,’ Junmyeon wants to know and like Tumblr said, communication was key. ‘-does that mean you’re going to suck my blood-‘

‘WE DON’T SUCK BLOOD ANYMORE-‘

 

 

*

 

 

Jongdae is a free man.

Finals were over, his thesis sent in.

That afternoon was beautiful and despite the throngs of people he had to push through around university, or that he didn’t know how to answer at least 10 of the questions in his finals.

He.

Was.

Free.

Cheerily making his way to Starbucks, Jongdae orders and picks up 2 special drinks for him and Minseok to celebrate with along with two _Everything Bagel with Cheese_ and hums as he steps out.

Basking in the warmth of the sun (because he appreciated it even more after his brush with the supernatural forces), Jongdae crosses the university park to get to the dorm. Only to freeze mid-step when he catches sight of Junmyeon.

_And Yixing._

Yixing is sitting on one of the park benches under the shade, possibly asleep, his face planted onto the side of Junmyeon’s neck. And Jongdae’s entire body turns cold twice over.

That was it. He was going to have to do it. He was going to actually have to kill Yixing.

He hopes Minseok will understand. And also hopes he’ll come visit him in jail. With some Starbucks.

Taking a determined step towards the two, Jongdae marches forward. He was first going to have to expose Yixing to Junmyeon, and then somehow find a convenient stake from somewhere and use it to good purpose. But all of this is thrown out of the metaphoric window when Junmyeon takes something from Yixing’s hand, which was previously blocked from Jongdae’s view, and it comes to full view for a total of 3 seconds before Jongdae nearly loses his footing.

A familiar bottle. Half filled with-

Lurching forwards Jongdae splutters noisily, catching Junmyeon’s attention.

‘Jongdae shh!’ Junmyeon says, glancing at Yixing. ‘He’s sleepy after drinking. Staying in the sun helps him digest better.’

Jongdae’s mind promptly stops working.

‘I beg your pardon.’

Junmyeon looks a little puzzled and he suddenly looks alarmed. Then Yixing bolts awake, his slack arms tightening around Junmyeon, his eyes flaring red, and his face suddenly _terrifying_.

‘Oh-‘ Yixing transforms back into his sleepy self. ‘Hi Jongdae.’

Junmyeon and Jongdae both watch as Yixing goes back to sleep. Junmyeon has a fond smile on his face, readjusting himself so that Yixing was more comfortable. Jongdae searches Junmyeon’s neck for any sign of puncture or wounds but comes up blank. Then back at Junmyeon who has an expression that translated to: ‘ _what do you want?’_.

‘ _You know?!’_ Jongdae hisses.

‘I do! Now shut up I have dorm reports to complete!’ Junmyeon whispers back, shooing him away.

Jongdae can’t help but gape at them as he walks backwards.

He pauses by the tree to watch them a little longer, disbelieving of his eyes.

Then Yixing stirs a bit, waking up a little to kiss Junmyeon on his neck. Junmyeon finds it ticklish but doesn’t move away. Instead he turns his head and places a kiss on Yixing’s forehead before fixing the latter’s glasses. Yixing says something, eyes only on Junmyeon who then chuckles in response before kissing him chastely. They resume their previous position and Junmyeon goes back to reading through his notes.

Jongdae digs into his pocket and doesn’t even look down before he calls Minseok.

‘ _Dae? What’s up?’_

Yixing holds Junmyeon tighter and smiles into his neck.

‘Yeah- so uh. Junmyeon and Yixing are a legit thing now.’

Yixing opens his eyes and looks straight at Jongdae and _winks_.

‘ _I BEG YOUR PARDON-‘_

_*_

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (Author’s Notes)
> 
>  
> 
> Something before uni starts and I start dying.  
> I realizes that for someone who loves SuLay I sure don’t write them at all.  
> So here is some fluffy cute SuLay  
> And a [moodboard! ](http://unclassifiedsenpai.tumblr.com/post/169340046132/why-is-google-telling-me-hes-a-vampire)  
> ^_^


End file.
